Life is not a movie, happy new year

As the year comes to close, I realize more and more that life is not a movie. When the curtain drops on this year it doesn't mean there will be a fade to black leaving the audience with their imagination of the best. It doesn't fade to black, it just dawns another calendar year and we do the same things all over again. You don't get standing ovations in real life and best you get a lone man clap. The theater of life is not always as kind as the critics of the arts.

Right about now many of you are making new year's resolutions, things like lose weight, love more, cry less, be happy and stuff like that pop on many list at this time of the year. I don't make those lists because let's face it I will never keep them. I don't I rather just decide to I am doing something in the new year and do it rather than being bound by a list.

No do overs
Life doesn't offer do overs, that's pretty lame I think. I would like to do over  a lot of things and in fact just remove myself from a lot of situations. So bearing that life doesn't offer clean slates and second chances are as rare as new planet discoveries and me actually solving a mathematical problem I say ditch the do over idea and make the only chance you have count. Wow them or leave 'em wrecked.

Take what you can and give plenty back
I am pretty lucky. I don't know how got that way but I have been so blessed but jeepers I am a complainer of note! I am sad, I am broken, I got my heart broken... boo hoo life is short move and make a plan. I give myself that pep talk a lot lately which is funny because I don't listen to myself, I am pretty bad at it. But I felt so fulfilled when I gave back this holiday season and I realized how petty everything else it.

So, here is to a new year: wow 'em, wreck 'em and give plenty back.

The Journey is short but the road is dangerous

The journey is not easy and the road is dangerous. I am pretty convinced that every time I get ready to embark on a new adventure I get a vision of this path full of danger and unquestionable obstacles that I all but talk myself out if it -- this is definitely the reason I haven't built a rocket ship. Yes the journey is most definitely not easy and I never know if I will make it to end but that's the beauty of a new adventure they keep telling me, what lies! To be honest and fair, what is wrong with cowardice, why can't I have just curl up in my room and never leave my house again because everyday is an awfully big and scary adventure.

The journey is short but the road is long. The phrase "it will end soon" come up a fair amount. When exactly is this soon? Get from point A to B, that simple -- really? Well if it was that simple why do I feel like I have been going forever without any real perspective for an end point? I am being serious, the journey might be short but the road is long and I am afraid of what lies ahead.

The journey holds secrets but the road has the answers. I don't get it. There is so much in life that remains unanswered, I want to know why people always disappoint, I want to know why people always make promises they never keep. The nature of human beings confuse me and I rather embark on this journey alone, as dangerous and long as it because at least I wont be disappointed.I suppose its one of two choices really, cowardice or dare to embark on something amazing.

The Journey is frightful but the road is part of the adventure.

Give me my dwarf star: the quest for normalcy

The quest of normalcy is a difficult one. All my life I think I have trying to find some sense of it. It's shape changes and the reason for it evolves  but still I chase it.

The cliche is always "why be normal when you can be so much more". I think the definition of normal needs to be explained in this context. Normal doesn't mean the same or like everyone else, Normal here means happy and right.

I don't think it's fair to categorize normal with ordinary, I don't think the feeling of normal is the same as being normal. To feel normal requires a lot more from the human pysche than the purely being normal. You work at feeling normal in most situation because everything that happens mostly deviates from the norm.

I chase normalcy when unrequited love is experience only to love someone in the right way and care about them better, happier… normal.

I chase normalcy is loss because the other option is hard to bare. No one wants to wallow in loss and the pain loss brings, some sense of normalcy is the only way to deal with it. If there is a no sense of normally, the pain and the fear of its constant presence can weigh a person down.

Normalcy from the extraordinary, even a raging supernova was once a sparkling star. Being so much more than normal can be hard work. Sometimes normalcy just means being a dwarf star rather a supernova.

Normalcy from the mundane, even the day to day can be overwhelming. A normal day shouldn't be too much to ask.

Normalcy: that's the watch word. "I am trying desperately hard to be normal someone once day to me, but is so darn hard I think I will give up on it."

Normal isn't easy but a little bit of it would be great. The world promises so much sometimes, you just need to take a step back and separate the amazing and the will destroying.

Time to stop being afraid and just fit in to the boundaries of your dwarf star.

Tick tock goes the clock

Where did the time go?

I have been bad here again. I have tried to keep up the blog but when you write for a living something happens to writing for fun. All your time gets sucked up.

The last few months have been quite eventful, from South Korea to Greece, France and Germany. I have been a busy girl. My new job keeps me quite busy and Cape Town keeps me entertained, well sorta.

I am now managing editor at memeburn.com, pretty big responsibility and I am trying my hardest to keep it together. I have barely had time to exercise which sucks because I really enjoyed exercising, however I am working on a plan for better physical activities.

Tripping around the world

I met up with Fiona in South Korea, which was lots of fun, I hadn’t realised how much I missed her and hanging with her. There is something to be said about the good old days of uncomplicated life choices and when everyone was open with each other.  I also ate some questionable cuisine and loved it, also made some incredible new friends. South Korea was a definite win.

Eurotripping with my dad, possible the longest/shortest ten days of my life! My dad decided for my masters graduation he would take me to three European countries of my choice. We began in Greece, we spent some time in Athens then an Island or two and then found our way to Paris, where I got lost in the delectable macaroons that Laudree had to offer before we made our way to Frankfurt for some beer. The trip was simply amazing. Getting up to mischief and living boldly.

Missing friends and family

In the last month I have missed my sisters so much it hurt. I missed my best friend Deej, so much has happened in the last few months, so much which has been lost and gained that I wish I could share with her.  I am enjoying my new life but there are parts of the old one that seems so far away. Sometimes I think I can feel it al fading away.

Little steps I think. That’s what is needed, deep breaths and little steps then all will be right or wrong but it won't be boring. 

Because Nigeria needs new heroes

"I am the voice of Isaac Boro, I speak Ken Saro Wiwa."

There is something pretty inspiring about those words especially when it was inspired by the words of Saro-wiwa himself:  "We are going to demand our rights peacefully, non-violently and we shall win."

I stumbled upon this music video by Nigerian hip hop/soul singer and songwriter, Nneka, called "Soul is Heavy". The song speaks to Nigerian heritage, it speak of Shell in what can be considered a melodic rock song about Africa's most populous nation.

It mentions historical figures and revolutionaries Isaac Boro, Ken Saro Wiwa, Jaja of Opobo and their contributions to the efforts to change a nation riddled with political issues.

I especially love this song because of the tribute to the like of Saro Wiwa. The Niger Delta is still in turmoil. New heroes need to rise to help complete the works that was started by the heroes of the past.

Because Nigerians need to tear the stereotypes that shackle them in today's society.