So, I am getting a job at Hooters

"nous nageons dans la merde" ( we're swimming in shit)

That we are.
Life is a ball of fun, I quite like it.
Everyday something pretty gobsmacking happens. You might not expect it -- most often you don't -- and when you do expect it comes with an extra kick of "surprise" just to unhinge you a bit. Life is exciting like that. Never letting you forget who's boss.

Unexpected life surprises.
Those are never few and far between.
In fact I am pretty convinced Life has them thrown out on a secondly basis. Every time one hits you it chuckles gleefully uttering the word: "sucker". I know some very nice people who have turned into bitter bettys thanks to Life's special brand of "sucker". I, on the other hand refuse to become that.

I traded myself for a chicken.
Well I think that's what I did. Could have been a duck.
The darling Kenyans, decided to teach me Swahili, I am learning over Skype. In my effort to learn this new language, I seem to be fond trading myself for stuff instead of saying a simple, "my name is". It's quite fun to think about it. One day I will wonder Nairobi thinking I am speaking Swahili but in fact I am trading myself for various farm animals.

See?
I refuse to let Life get me.
"You're mean" he said to me after I refused his advances...

I just walked into the bar to watch a spot of football and the drunken mess approaches me and says: "I am going to hook up with you tonight."
"You think?" I respond, in good spirits.
"uhuh," he smiles confidently.
"Wishful thinking is great isn't?" I ask a little bit icily.

...So I am mean.
Perhaps, I have had a few unexpected surprises.
The most recent being the loss of my PhD funding. That was a great surprise to a day that was going somewhat awful. The email that informed me of this had the audacity to be cheerful. It asked how my day was and hoped I was doing well and then went to imply that I keep well afterwards. Oh the pure unadulterated audacity.

I am not mean.
I am not even jaded by Life.
Life has a job to do and I am it.
Life is great and I quite like. It has a certain Je ne sais pas that makes it a thrill to be alive. When push comes to shove I can always get a job at Hooters, I am convinced I have the rack for it.