Sorry my emotions are busy at present, try again later

"I am emotionally unavailable."
Really? Where did your emotions go?
I hate that phrase, possibly the most ludicrous phrase in all of the English language. Okay maybe not but it's in my top 10. I am sorry I cannot take someone seriously when they look me in the eyeballs and say that. Dude, what on earth have you done with your emotions? Locked them away inside the Loch Ness monster? Hence it is not available?

"You are emotionally unavailable."
Hello! Hold the phone, I am what?
The tables have turned. I was told this a few hours ago. Ordinarily I would have ignored it because really, what does "the French-slugging far away lives in my computer" pal of mine know anyway? Me apparently, ok if he believes that; I am not going to ruin it for him. Truth is, people have tried to explain the whole emotional unavailability to me before.

Reasons:
Broken little boys become emotionally unavailable men -- I like this one. At least there is a cause. But still "broken little boys" harbour pain rather than locked away emotions.

I am unable to feel for someone -- erm I am sorry what? That makes no fathomable sense whatsoever. Think about it everyday without consent you feel for people. In fact this is just stupid.

Not the relationship type -- this is what makes me apparently emotionally unavailable. Because apparently if you're not ready to "happy-go-lucky" it with someone else it's a bad thing. A sign of emotional damage and a broke core. Emotional unavailability. OH.MY.WORD. Really? Are we those people?

I feel like people use this phrase for lack of something better to say. There you are caught in an "almost relationship" and instead of manning up and saying "Yo, I am not feeling you." You pipe up "I am emotionally unavailable," just so the other person doesn't feel quite as rejected. What nonsense. I find that offensive.

I am emotionally unavailable for you.
That's much better.
My emotions aren't locked within the phantom beast. They are just not available to you right now and that I cannot change. That's the truth and all you "emotionally unavailable" people know it. Your emotions are there and  available, you're just not willing to give them to the person asking for them. Your emotions are otherwise engaged.